New Year's night, 2007, at approximately 12 a.m., I died.At least this is what the witnesses to what happened said.
According to those who were there, I was standing talking to Zoska near the kitchen at a friend's house in Sedona waiting for the New Year to launch when without warning I turned ashen and fell forward into Zoska's arms. She screamed for help and Sidney, Alexandra, Cheryl and Patricia gently helped lay me to the ground.Cheryl checked my pulse and found none. My breathing had stopped. My eyes were rolled up deep into my head and my heart stopped beating, according to the witnesses.
EMS was called and I lay on the floor in that state for more than three minutes with the women positioned around me laying hands and performing Reiki.They said after at least five minutes I began to breath and my heart started beating wildly in my chest. A short while later my eyes opened. I could not stand up by myself. EMS came, checked my vitals and my pulse rate returned to normal. I refused to be taken to the hospital and asked I be left in the care of the women. I signed some documents and they helped me to my feet and sat me on a couch where I recovered enough after an hour or so to stand and support my weight with the help of Zoska and Cheryl who took me home a few blocks away.This is what I was told happened and now I want to relate the events that occurred leading to that moment, to the best of my recollection.
It was a beautiful party full of beautiful people held at Patricia's house a few blocks away from my home in the Chapel Road section of Sedona.That evening, we were going to perform a Celtic ritual honoring the death and resurrection of the Holly King, an aspect of the Celtic Horned God according to ancient, Celtic tradition. Symbolically, those performing the ritual follow the Holly King into death with no fear and resurrect with him to show that life and death forever go on and each is the parent of the other.
About a half hour before we performed the ritual I went outside on Patricia's porch to photograph a family of javelinas feeding below on the ground.Cheryl was with me and she pointed to the moon above which was encircled by a magnificent ring. I turned the camera upwards and took the shot and was shocked to see a small blue disc hovering to the upper left of the moon. I immediately took a second shot and realized the disc had disappeared. I went inside and showed off the photo in the viewing screen of the digital camera. You could clearly make out the outline of the UFO with a blue center there next to the moon when enlarged.
At that point, it was time to perform the ritual, put together for that evening by Patricia. That's when I believe my experience began."This is a time that is not a time, in a place that is not a place, on a day that is not a day," the ritual began. "We stand at the gate between the living and the dead on this night when the veil between the two worlds is the thinnest. We are here to witness the death of the Holly King, the waning Sun God, the lover and husband of the Crone Goddess."
Upon reading those words the hair on my arms stood straight up. I saw so clear the meaning of those words and they struck a resonant chord in my heart. I still did not realize just how deep I would be affected one hour later. Patricia acted out the ritual as the Crone Goddess and Howard played the part of the Holly King. Alexandra, as Leader, paid homage to the four points of the compass, lighting candles to each direction. The Holly King asked all to follow him, stating death is no barrier, that he is the guide, the Way is open. And then the Holly King spoke again."Death is a truth as is life, and just as life cannot last forever, neither can death," the Holly King said. "You shall see me again, reborn, gaining strength and vibrancy. When it seems that the darkest has come, as the Yuletide fades, under the stars, when it is my time again, you shall see me born. Through me, all passes out of life."
Cakes (cookies), called the Cakes of the Dead, were passed by Howard, symbolic of the passing through.Wine was passed to represent the thinning of the veil. At that point the Holly King extinguished a black candle and as he blew out the flame, the flame seemed to re-light in my mind.With great clarity I saw the great circle of life and death and the transparency, non-permanence of what we call death. I saw the flowers die in winter and their seeds reborn in spring. The cycle came alive in me and I was stunned where I sat by the depth of the vision.It's not that I intellectually did not know this already. It was that I felt it to the marrow of self, beyond the grasp of the words themselves.
A second serving of cakes were then passed by the Crone Goddess, symbolic of coming back. Lighting a white candle, the Crone Goddess spoke."But through me, all may be born again," Patricia said. "The Holly King has shown me the way, now, on this night of Samhain, at this place and time between the veils.""In birth, we die," she said and we responded "On death, we feed."Then she said, "For my womb is the cauldron of rebirth. Take me as yours, for winter is my time."
As the ritual closed, I felt slightly out of body appreciating the full power of ritual. I understood why ritual has been held sacred through all time and why churches and every culture perform them, ancient or modern, when communicating with spirit. Ritual stirs the depths of the subconscious and tugs at us in places almost too deep to fathom. Prior to that moment, I had perceived ritual as just another hypnotic device employed by religions to manipulate and control masses. I had no idea just how wrong I had been.
We went back to discussions between ourselves and I spoke animatedly with Sidney about rituals, Quantum physics, the unconscious and ways to better understand the mechanics of consciousness.I felt thirsty and asked Zoska for a glass of water. Before I could bring the cup to my lips, according to Zoska, that's when my experience began. She said I began to squeeze the cup tightly, my eyes rolled under my eye lids and I fell into her. At that point, my experience began.
What follows will be a combination of what I remember happened and what I hope to discover happened while I write it. I know the full experience remains hidden from my conscious grasp at this moment but I feel if I just let my fingers go I will be told.Whether it is my unconscious speaking, my over-active imagination, delirium or what not, I will simply let my typing hands have their way as we move into this experience.
This is what I consciously remember happened as I began to cross over: I was looking at Zoska. Her face began to glow a golden white and the atoms around her seemed to dazzle into diamond like pin-points, like looking through a kaleidoscope at expanding triangles of color. The points spun clockwise lost color until they were fused together in a brilliant golden field of white iridescence.
There was a tunnel before me, like the kind you see in Star Trek movies inside a space ship, tubular. The walls were long sheets of crystal glass, horizontal, converging to a point in my horizon. The glass sheets were indigo, gold and silver in color interspaced with clear crystal glass sheets reflecting the light of the other colored sheets of glass. I moved forward through this tunnel but I don't recall walking, just moving.
The point ahead of me grew into a circular opening and there I was standing on a platform overlooking what appeared to be a huge, cavernous, brightly lit and very modern looking terminal of some kind. There were thousands of people standing on long lines passing through portals to what appeared to be waiting vehicles of some kind. People were calm but no one seemed to be smiling. There was confusion on many faces. There were men, women and children dressed in different costumes. Although no one had bags, the women seemed to be carrying pocketbooks.
I realized I did not know which line I should be standing on and I did not have a ticket. I turned to this man dressed in a blue uniform and asked him where I should go to get a ticket. He looked at me very serious, shook his head and said "Sorry, we have no ticket for you. Come this way."
Up to this point I've been working from recollection. What follows has been rising up to my conscious vision over the last few days. I am sitting in a room with a large flat-screen TV in front of me. There was an image on the screen of the earth as seen from outer space, looking down at the North Pole. I could see North America curving under the globe.The edges of the polar ice cap seemed to be bleeding. I had to squint and realized they were actually glowing red, like metal reacting under a blow torch.The scene shifted and I saw miles of polar bears strewn dead on the red ice. I remember thinking I wished I had seen Al Gore's "An Inconvenient Truth."
An image of Cathedral Rock appeared on the screen as seen from my house. The edges were glowing, emitting an aurora. Inscribed beneath the image were the words "The portal is open. Atlantis rises."
The image again shifted and I saw what seemed to me to be Sedona itself sprawled below.There were fires burning, five of them when I counted…one to the north, another to the south, one to the east and the last one to the left. They were burning towards the center of Sedona, where a huge fire waited in the middle of the square. People were scrambling to put the fires out.The skies above were filled with crisscrossing chemtrails. They were everywhere and very fat."
It is time to go," a man said. I looked up and recognized him. He was the same man who came to me the night when I was eight and was paralyzed by doctors performing a spinal tap on me because they thought I had polio He came back."We are waiting...We are waiting for you. We are ready now"…I hear these words right this second as I am writing this in my mind….there is a soft whispering, a woman's voice. "We are here Tommy, to tell you the rest of the story…"
I am on my back resting comfortably. I am on a table, very warm and soft. There are five people surrounding me standing. I recognize where I am. I am back in the craft I was taken to that night so long ago. I recognize some of them. I can see earth through translucent walls. It is blue and sunlit below to my left. There is a pulsing crystal above me. No, it is something that glistens like a crystal. It seems to be made of gold and is shaped like a top. Her hands are cradling my head. It is Alana. I can tell by the fragrance of her hands, like roses, just like they were the first time she held me.
For those who did not read The Key, a record I wrote that came to me five years ago of what happened to me the night the doc's paralyzed me when I was a child, Alana visited me that night and told me of my future. I now find myself in the same place, same table as I was back then, in what appears to be a spacecraft hovering above the earth.To my left is Amot, he was there too, the night of my paralysis. He smiled that smile I can never forget. He was dressed in a white robe, dark skinned, bearded, wearing a gold amulet around his neck.
"Welcome Tommy, the future fulfills," he said. His hand was on my heart.I looked to my right and there was a beautiful woman, with beautiful eyes. I could not make out the color because there was so much light in them. Her hair seemed to be made of silver because it refracted light. Her hand was on my chest."Welcome Tommy," she said. "I am Ashala and I am here to join you." She smiled a radiant smile. She was dressed in a tunic, the kind you see space people wearing in sci-fi movies, tight, form fitting, blue, with a gold v-shaped collar down her front from her neck to her chest.I looked down to my feet and there was another beautiful woman there holding them. She was dressed in the same type-uniform Ashala was wearing."So happy to meet you," she said. "My name is Marissa and I am here to know you."
I could sense there was someone standing behind me away from my field of vision. I tried to lift my head to see but I was held down."Don't," Alana whispered. "You know who he is." I tried to speak."Shhh, listen," she said. She went back behind me, cradling my head. Amot spoke:"Just as you asked us then, we have come to fulfill the future you wrote. We are back by your will and by our own to make real the world you promised to heal. We are here now because you in the future sent us, just like you did before when you were paralyzed and unable to move, to deliver to you your own message of hope. All is well and all is as it should be and we rejoice to know you are doing everything you said you would do exactly when you said it would be done. By tonight's act, you prove death to be the liar it is."
Marissa smiled and spoke."The womb of the cosmos is mine and now I am here to open the portal of life to you, sweet Tommy. The time has come to bring new fruit to this field and spark new hope for the cosmos. You dance with the stars and they with you, partners we are and always will be. Our time comes."
What is going on? Am I remembering? Where is this coming from? Am I making this up? I have no choice but to go on…Ashara brings her eyes to mine. In them I see a spiraling cosmos, a universe. It is the Milky Way. A light grows in its middle. The light flashes and the spiraling galaxy burst into a million shards of light shimmering into darkness. There is a glow in the center of her eyes. The glow is growing bigger. The circle is there. The radiance is almost blinding. I see something. It is forming. It is a face. It is my own. It is my own."
Know you are where All begins, is and ends and there is no separation in time or space between the youness of you and the cosmos. We are one in this dream and we are the soul of all things seen, unseen, not yet and always there. Know our love holds space together," Ashara said.
Alana finally spoke:"I love you so much Tommy. I love you beyond imagination and beyond mortal ability to grasp. You have kept true to your dream and now you have come back to me so I can help you better understand what is in store."
You are here by your will and by the will of everyone who is a part of this dream we call All. You dared to take the plunge into the abyss of the unknown tonight and left all fear behind. You have never lost faith and even in your darkest moments you have never given up, never looked away. You have passed through valleys and over mountains of fear but you knew I was always here to help you through it all and see beyond the shadows that hide and obscure the love we emanate from."
"The tribulation comes and you know who you are and why you are here and you left the fear behind where it belongs as we plunge into this next phase in the future.
"You have seen the seas boil and the mountains crumble and the skies darken with blood and rain melt whatever if falls upon.
"You have looked into the hearts of the most evil of men and realized hating cannot hold a candle to forgiveness and even the darkest can only be saved through light.
"Tonight, tonight in you life shines bright in the contrast of the death you chose here now to go through. Only you, only you can bring yourself back and your will must be strong enough to take you.
Amot spoke:"Just like you told us back then, to tell you as a child not to fear sorrow and pain, you called us once again to remind you to find and connect with those who hold light as their guide and know in their hearts they are part of the vanguard who will usher in the new age for earth.
"Every person you have met, meet and will meet, are part of this team of healers and light beings who will usher and lead humanity through its next evolution."
Alana spoke again:"Those who profit from death and pain, those who have held your planet bound in a rein of terror and sorrow, their days are numbered, for with a sword of light you and your beloveds will strike darkness from the minds of their victims and liberate them from the chains of ignorance that bind them.
"Know you are surrounded by loving beings that will care for you and give you the strength to move to your next self-imposed assignment.
"Believe in their power and they will believe in yours and know their intentions are as strong as yours to liberate spirit from the fear shackles that bind it. You know who they are. You have all been drawn together for the great banquet.
"And do not fear the great changes coming to your planet. You and your own will be in the right place at the right time to survive and flourish while the rest of the world seemingly destructs. You are the antidote to this destruction."
The person standing behind me spoke. His voice was deep. And I felt his words in my chest and mind.
"Tommy, listen to me, there is a comet coming. It is coming as sure as the seasons change. It is on its way," the man said. "It is heading straight towards your planet. You know what has to be done to stop it. Don't be afraid. It is coming. Tell those who you love to prepare. There is only so much time left before your scientists tell you about it. You must find a way to avert the impact. This is your task. This is your mission.
"Wake up Tommy. Wake up to the fear still left in you. Let it go. There is no need any more. Just love. Just love everyone with your full heart and soul. You are being given great powers of healing. You will with your hands, your mind, your words and your music bring this healing to your brothers and sisters. Do not let a second go by lost in fear. Just love me as I have loved you.
"I am here now Tommy forever, close and conscious; one with you in this endeavor. I do not want my beauty, my planet taken from me. It will be lost if you do not stop it.
"Don't fear. I love you. I am here. I am with you. I am with those who love you and whom you love. Feel my love. Feel their love. Go back and tell them what I said."
I heard a voice calling. I heard people speaking, voices coming from a distance. Someone said "He has crossed over." I opened my eyes and it was Sidney on my right. I said to her "Not quite yet," and smiled. Her eyes shown with relief that told me I was OK. I looked up above me and saw this brass object that looked like the object above my head in my vision. In it, I saw the same image of the cosmos pulsing inside that I saw in Ashara's eyes. It was all there. Everything. All, all of us, all time and every moment ever, now or will be, there in that brass artifact directly above me hanging from Pat's ceiling.
Zoska was behind me in the same place Alana had been. She was cradling my head. Alexandra was at my feet in the same place Marissa had been. Alex the Crone Goddess was smiling. Cheryl was standing behind my head where the stranger had been standing. Zoska told me to be still, that I had died and the paramedics were coming.
Pat's who was to my left with their hand on my heart, never took her hand off until I was breathing again.I was so peaceful and happy but when Zoska told me the paramedics were coming I got angry because in my confused return from the other side, I pictured them taking me away and ruining my moment of being. I knew something profound had happened but knew I could not retrieve it yet. I would have to wait until I got to a keyboard to let it out. Like now. I knew it was a symbolic death and symbolic resurrection even though people say I was actually dead. Who can be sure? But like the Holly King, I left and returned.
But the image of the cosmos in the brass artifact above my temple seemed to hold all the secrets. I focused on it and let the waves of oneness wash over me until the firemen arrived.
The lead paramedic who took care of me was definitely an angel. He knew what had happened and he protected me from the others. He made sure I was not taken. For that I am grateful.For this writing and message I am grateful. For those who kept me from crossing over I am grateful.But most of all, I'm grateful I forgot my ticket.
Thank you so much Tommy for sharing your wonderful experience. I now know why you said "you are supposed to be here, you know that!" Yes, I do sweet Tommy.